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• Express emotions- be authentic, be clear, use age appropriate language and engage with your child through eye contact, encourage focus, calm and stillness

  • For example; yes you can, I see you, yes, please, keep going, you got it, be responsible, show me, I hear your, breathe, shake your head up and down, stay calm, encourage with a sense of authenticity, recenter by noticing the opportunity to make a change with your child

• Use words- use language that inspires and evokes change, stay focused on the positive and allow space for learning

  • Use positive words such as, be creative, stay strong, allow curiosity, adventure out, see gratitude, find a balance, be still, calm and quiet

• Communicate clearly- be concise while using full sentences, state the desired goal and omit any words that are punishing, threatening or instill fear or shame, inspire and keep in mind the goal

  • For example; I see you! Yes you can! Stay there, keep going, let me know when you are finished! I hear you, stay strong, find peace and let’s talk when you are finished!

• Set boundaries- be firm, be clear, keep it simple, speak from a place of love, boundaries are meant to bring positive change, inspire and encourage personal growth, not linearly, but more like an ebb and flow, an ever changing state

  • For example; When you are finished taking off your shoes, we can walk to the sink to wash your hands. I see you want to jump, here, you can jump on the mat, jumping on others is hurtful, thank you for making a better choice. 

• Allow opportunities to unfold- time is key, allow space for temper tantrums, crying, the completion of chores, clean up, and self reliance to unfold, nurture and celebrate accomplishments

  • For example; I see you are crying, I am here when you are finished, here are the tissues, we can celebrate your dry face soon!

• Support- be a resource, provide skills for problem solving and decision making, be optimistic, positive and encourage with a smile or hug, think outside the box, get creative with solutions, and be limitless in solutions that inspire and promote growth

  • For example; That looked like a huge step. How do you feel, do you want to keep going, I am here, let me know how I can support you. 

• Encourage- use words that inspire, or encourage your child to move toward change, to notice their accomplishments and to see where change is necessary and allow space for discovery or solutions rather than, fixing everything to perfection, it's messy, so get comfortable with chaos, and start where you are, working toward change, it takes time, that's ok, we are all working toward the same goal

  • For example; Stay present, be still, breathe, find purpose in being grateful and encourage your child with a smile, simple words that are not judgemental, so avoid using terms such as, “good boy, good girl, great job, good work, you are my hero, and you make me so happy. These terms include judgement and often, when a child is used to hearing these phrases, will automatically go to the negative, for example, I am a bad boy, I am not good at anything, I can’t do it alone, I am useless, I am not needed. Phrases that are void of judgement allow the child to creatively decide who they are and want to be, so keep it simple and stay in tune with words that support change, I see you, yes, keep going, find balance, how can I help, yes you can, look at you, let’s celebrate when you are finished! 

• Embrace- hug, smile, encourage with words, find time to enjoy the moment, read books, take a walk, make a snack, discover a lost galaxy or enjoy a quiet moment watching the clouds or listening to the birds

  • For example; notice your child’s achievement and give a hug, smile, notice baby steps, small accomplishments, sit in peace, be still, find gratitude and share gratitude with words, be a role model, in the calm and in the storm!